Run It Out

I can't ask.
I can't know where you've been.
I can't know what you do.
Maybe because I can't take it.

Laki ng problema ko. :( And I'm really sorry if for the next days, next months, ganito ako ka emotional. I'm sorry if what you see from here are all about sadness, longing, etc. You've practically consumed all of me. And I am not asking you to do anything.

Today, I really tried to make myself busy. Because I need to think of something else. I really tried to relax my mind. To go out at night and jog alone around Ateneo for an hour. Para mabawasan yung bigat. Pero habang tumatakbo ako, nandoon ka pa rin. Nandoon ka sa dulo kung saan ako nakatingin, nandoon ka sa red brick roads. Nandoon ka sa bawat sulok na madilim. And while I keep on running, I can't seem to keep up with you. Hanggang sa naglalakad na lang ako. Mag-iisang oras na. Ang supposedly Bellarmine field route ko ay napunta sa high school. Nag-sprint na ako (na 'di ko ginagawa). I actually liked it; I felt the rushing sound while on a woosh sa carpark ng high school. And then I suddenly stopped. "This doesn't help," I said to myself. [Novel ang peg hehe]

I honestly don't know what to do...to myself. Sobrang Eat, Pray, Love lang. :( I don't want to see anyone. I don't want to talk to anyone about anything. Buti na lang I get inspired by people who were also running/jogging. There were moments na iniimagine ko na lang kung sino ba sila, kung bakit sila tumatakbo sa gabi, anong goal nila, anong balak nila, may pinapapogi-an ba sila o pinapagandahan, are they sad, happy, hurt, etc etc etc.

I am just one of them.