Nothing extraordinary

Now, I have the luxury of writing an entry. I just had to tell all what happened to me yesterday. Nami-miss ko na kasi mag-blog pero wala naman kasi akong major na ikkwento kaya ikkwento ko na lang yung mga random and memorable moments na nangyari kahapon. Wala na kasing mabigat na kailangan pang i-blog. Parang wala na akong emotions. Anyway, back to the topic.

Yesterday, I cut 2 of my classes. I just had to, but with no specific reasons. This year I've been cutting plenty of times. Nawawalan ako ng passion. 'Di ko alam kung bakit. Nasa stage pa rin ako ng identity crisis. Haha. What I mean is nasa stage pa rin ako na 'di ko alam kung gusto ko 'yung mga ginagawa ko. But sadly, I can't tell this to my family dahil for me, it's kind of too late to rant about this stuffs. 20 years old na ako, my goodness. I should know what I should want to do. But anyway, gusto ko lang talagang sabihin na nag-cut ako ng 2 out of 4 classes ako. At 'yung isa eh once a week lang, and nag cut na rin ako dun last week, so 2 straight cuts na 'yun, the fact na 2 cuts lang ang maximum eh naka 3 na ata ako. But I don't really care. Wala pa akong inspiration. Sobrang tagal ko nang naghahanap. As I've said, parang wala akong nararamdaman ngayon in terms of being passionate on what I do.

Yesterday, I cut. And what did I do? Nothing. Tumambay lang ako sa org room and did other stuff that is way less important. But the thing is, I had fun. After cutting my second class, the original plan of watching a play on Sunday was moved to yesterday. So, mas naging exciting ang kahapon ko dahil may nilu-look forward ako kahapon, another play to watch! But before going the theater, we had a dry-run for our upcoming project next week, a street theater festival. I'm one of the Road Managers so I had to be there and teach all our members the right flow of the event. That was fun. Hindi ko inaasahang ganito ang mga pinaggagagawa ko sa college. Ang layo sa course ko pero I was very tired and I had fun. [bgm: The Way I Am, pinapatugtog ng roommate ko.] I love it when I run a performance, when I am in the performance, when I made the performance, everything about performance in front of people. So, there.

After the dry run, sobrang nag-rush kami papuntang PETA to watch Haring Lear. And yes, libre 'to kaya ang saya-saya ko. Haha. The play was oh-my-god three hours long. Nagsisisi nga ako na hindi muna ako nag-research tungkol sa King Lear bako pinanood dahil hindi naman talaga ako fan ni Shakespeare kaya medyo na-lost ako. Pero ok lang, it was spectacular and the actors were really good. Eto na naman yung moment na nangarap ako na sana maging kasing galing rin nila ako someday. Tapos may mga sumusulpot pang mga lalakeng magaganda ang katawan. So parang, okay thank you, nagising ako sa mga moment na inaantok na ako. Nagsisi rin ako na 'di ako sumubok na manood ng Orosman at Zafira, ni hindi ko nga alam ang kwento.

Since medyo na-late kami ng mga 1 minute lang naman, medyo nawala ako sa mood dahil ayoko talagang manood ng 'di ko nasisimulan. Kaya paglabas sa theater, all I ever thought was I'm dead tired. Nag-disperse na kami at nauwi kami sa KFC for dinner. But the most fun part of that night was when we slept at Leal's house. And... made SPUSHI. :3

At dahil naisipan ko na nga, na gusto ko nang i-cherish ang bawat memory ng 20th year ko, pinicturan ko na yung niluto nilang spushi (spam-sushi), though hindi naman talaga siya mukhang totoong spushi, pero in fairness masarap ang sauce na ginawa nila Anna and Pat. And there goes my second dinner kagabi. Kumusta ang pagpapapayat ko.

After eating and all, wala na akong ginawa. Naki-net na lang ako kina Leal or nagbabasa ng mga libro niya. And that was what I wanted, just to relax, walang inuman and all the lasingan. Just plain tambay sa living room nila tapos bigla na lang aantukin ka ang magkakatabi kayong matulog. Perfect TGIF. But then again, here I am cutting my only Saturday class because I just can't feel it. Nag-cut na naman ako. :(

11:11am na! Let's make a wish. ;)

So far ang nilulook forward ko today ay ang directing workshop later this afternoon. Second session na namin ito but with a different speaker, and we are focusing now on the relationship between an actor and a director. Kaya iyon, masayang intellectual and artisitic discourse na naman ito!

So far, yan ang mga nangyayari sa buhay ko ngayon. Sobrang walang magawa sa buhay, sobrang walang alam kung anong gagawin. But anyway, my 20th year has been interesting. Last week, I actually had my first puffs of cigarette. I just had to try. And no, I hadn't tried it yet again. Pero ang weird kagabi, after we watched King Lear, and I so some people having cigars outside the theater, I was very curious and I was very into thinking that I really liked to try at that moment. Pero shet, ang tanging naiisip ko, parang ayoko magpa-cool, kasi I always have the feeling na pagyoyosi ka, pa cool ka, except when you're a chain smoker. Haha. But anyway, I won't smoke yet.

PS: Last night, when we were at the taxi going to Leal's after leaving the theater, siya lang na naman ang iniisip ko. Naalala ko lang yung panonood namin ng plays. :( How I wish you read this.