Sinking Feeling

There is this time again that I have to think over my life. All of its perspectives are turning down once more. I feel devastated with my grades, I feel empty and all the feels are on moratorium as well, and economically we are starving to death. I always have this philosophy in blogging that I only write something if it really strikes me--if I think I have so much to say that I could talk about something endlessly. This might be a proper time. I feel so alone and down these days--in so many aspects. Even though no one notices it, things bother me a looot.

Last night I spent my night in Starbucks for almost 5 hours and did practically nothing. And in those 5 hours, with casual watching of Grey's Anatomy old episodes, I've come to think about a lot. Kept on realizing things. I went home by walking, and in that 20-minute walk, I talked to myself. Literally. Speaking loudly while walking alone. Telling stories to myself. (Really amazing how fluent I speak in English when Im alone. Trust me, only when I'm alone I can do that). I've been really internally emotional for the past days. And I don't know if it's good or not.

First, there is this new friend of mine. I first met (not really met, but the first time I saw) him on a friend's debut, a couple of months ago, I think. He was kind of attractive but haven't had the time to think about it because I was really into another guy for the past month, if you know who I am talking about. :P Anyway, our common friend said he was good at memorizing names of many people instantly. And when the party was about to end, we almost all of the guests left already, they let him recite the names of all the people that was there (yes, our common friend already told him our names earlier) And surprisingly, he did it well and was able to call us by our names. But it's really weird when he paused for a while when he was about to say my name... he thought of name. He forgot it. Annoying. But I didn't really care, I mean didn't even know him.

(you know what, Im tired typing, so imma continue this entry next time. i promise)