Murakami kind of night

I feel like writing again tonight.

Ngayon, babalik na naman ako sa isang normal na araw. My vacation streak has come to an end. My Caramoan-Coron-Boracay streak was a first in my life. Hindi ko inaasahang every 2 weeks, may mapupuntahan akong iba-ibang lugar. Well, na-book ko na talaga yung Coron and Boracay last year. Pero that Caramoan trip was a surprise. So, in-enjoy ko na lang lahat. :) Saktong sakto, kaka-resign ko lanh sa work a week or so before our Caramoan trip so saktong sunod sunod na bakasyon.

One destination with my parents. Another with my best of college friends. And the last one with my ever so adventurous roommates. :) What a perfect month and a half I had.

But then here I am again. Kakauwi ko lang galing sa rehearsal (at first time nakapag-run, at last). And napamuni na naman ako kung anong klaseng araw ang meron ako today. What a normal day.

This morning, kakarating ko lang from Bicol. Again, first time kong dumating sa Bicol on a morning, then balik agad sa gabi. In a way, nakakalungkot yung thought na ganon kasi parang dumaan lang ako sa bahay, so I realized how alone my parents are sa Naga. But that's another topic. :)

So pagkarating ko kanina from Bicol, natulog lang ako since more than 24 hours na akong di nakakahiga sa kama. I needed to lie down.

Today was pretty much uneventful. Spent the day alone. Went so SM Marikina to get something. Had breakfast alone, lunch alone, and dinner alone. Tried to contact some clients. Fortunately, may good as close client ako for today, then may imi-meet naman tomorrow.

Now, I'm sounding like Murakami. Nag-eenumerate ng ka-mundane-an sa buhay. (Naalala ko tuloy yung Colorless by Murakami, which is DEPRESSING and konti na lang, mahahalintulad ko na sa bida yung situation/feeling ko...) But that's it. Na-realize ko lang. I am alone today. These days. Haha.

Right after rehearsal, lumabas agad ako sa RMT. Without anyone else noticing significantly. Parang aninong dumaan lang. There was no one to wait for. No one to go home with. Haha. And so, pagkarating na pagkarating ko, I opened my laptop and just started writing.

I feel dead. I feel lost. I feel empty. (Yes, nagpapaka poetic na naman...)

Masyado ko atang na-exhaust energy sa mga bakasyon. And at the end of the day, there is no one to talk to. No one to tell my secrets. No one to tell my day. Hehe. I feel alone. Pero hindi naman lonely. Sanay naman na ako maging alone. Napansin ko lang hehe.

Idagdag ko pa yung panaginip ko kanina... -.-

Ikaw, how was your day? Malakas ang ulan kanina. May kulog at kidlat. I kept on looking at the theater entrance. But there was no sight of you.

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