Fragment 2

Based on the last movie I watched in the theater, we reunite with people we loved so much from the past for particular reasons. And for this particular movie, the protagonists reunited for the long waited closure the two deserve. Luckily, for me, that moment has not arrived yet. I cannot see any closure im the near future as well. It feels like there should not be. For almost three months now, I have been quiet. I talk to close friends, to roommates, to wise friends, just to check that I am on the right track, to check if I am sane enough to move on...or something like that. But of course, it is very hard. Always, there is this cringing feeling of hope, of many what-ifs. And I sometimes think, maybe I could make these what-ifs, when.

"'Yang hope na yan, nakakalason. Parang drugs, nakakaadik."

-That friend of the protagonist from the movie

Sucks that everytime I try to be in good terms with moving on, there is always a thought popping in my mind...that in some ways, the world is trying to do something for me to not move on and hope again. That this person will come back. I always hope for the best. And at the end of this daydreaming, I realize again that I should move on. Stupid cycle.

"Kung masaya ka, okey na ako."

I tweeted.

That is the best I can give. If you are happy, then I am for you. There is nothing I can do more to make you happier if you already are.

But sometimes, I would really like to ask you, "are you?" It is a long shot. But what if? :( What if you are not really happy and I might just give you that. Bahala na.

FRAGMENT 2:

It was the day I learned that you slept with him last night. It was literally painful, but who am I to be mad, to need an explanation. I am no one between you. And I have no right to say anything against you. And so I decided to clear things. We met at the field. Talked a lot. Talked about saying goodbye. Cried. We cried both. Cleared things and decided to be just friends. Those hugs of yours, I would really never forget. Did you know you are the first person who hugs me like that? Practically you are the first. But I was never yours. And you were never mine. It is the sad part. We were but we were not even. You made me feel a lot of beautiful things...who am I to tell the world about it? It was a mistake. A mistake I fully regretted, but the feeling made me not.