High School Post Series #1: What Makes Me Remember You.

Ewan, bigla na lang lumutang sa isip ko ang mga bagay-bagay na 'to, dahil siguro sa sobrang ikaw na ata iniisip ko for the past week!!! Baket baket! Lalalala. Actually may theory talaga ako kung bakit. Pero, bago ko sabihin yung theory na yun, let me first say this: since halos ikaw lang naman ata ang nagbabasa nito from 1700, (haha) edi magsusulat na lang ako na parang ikaw yung kausap ko. :)) Tutal, 'di rin naman kita makausap in reality (noon, dahil baka mahampas kita ng bakal, hanggang ngayon, kasi baka halikan kita bigla (ay)). So game?

My theory is this: nagsimula 'to nung nag karaoke kami ni ano. HAHAHA. Tama kaya ako? Mejo tama eh. It all starts with this. :)) Simula nung araw na yon sunud sunod na yung mga naririnig kong mga kung ano ano. HAHA. oh well.

Pero ito talaga yung gusto kong ikwento dito sa post na to:

Mga bagay na nagpapaalala sa'yo… AHEHEHE.

1. Every single time (as in every single time) na inaalis ko yung stick sa kahit na anong barbecue, mapa chicken man yan or yung normal barbecue, I ALWAYS, ALWAYS remember you. As in habang iniikot ko yung stick para lumuwag siya tapos hihilahin ko na yung stick, that makes me remember you. Ikaw lang ata any genius na kilala kong gumagawa noon. Consequently, iyon lang ata ang ikina-genius mo more than loving a person faithfully (joke lang!)

2. Whenever Neck Tie comes into topic, ikaw na agad naaalala ko. Pero recent lang to. Kasi way before, alam naman nating may fetish ako sa neck tie. Pero recently, when it comes to neck tie, you pop into my mind. As in parang may nagffloat talaga na bubble sa ulo ko, with your pa-cute (na cute naman siguro talaga) face in it. AHEHEHE. Lalo na yung silver/greyish tie. Yun yon eh.

3. Whenever WICKED is the topic, NAAALALA KITA. DI KO ALAM KUNG BAKIT. Paki explain please. Baka kasi you are so wicked--sama mo na tao. hahaha. Or baka kasi nanood ka ng Wicked tapos di ko alam kung bat ka nanood ng ganun kamahal. Siguro may pumilit sago. or baka may kasama ka. hahaha. joke lang ulit.

4. DOWNY. HAHAHA. I swear, kapag matutulog na ako tapos nakahiga na ako then maaamoy ko yung unan na amoy Downy, ikaw naaalala ko. Puta. Lalo na pag nag oovernight ako sa Ate ko, (fyi andito ako ngayon sa kanila, so most likely maaalala ko to), amoy Downy eh. Amoy ikaw putangina. Yung tipong di ako makatulog kasi either maiirita ako kasi naalala kita, or more recently, mapapasmile na lang ako kasi nga naalala kita, or kasi talagang mabango lang siya. UGH.

5. The song Between The Raindrops. Need I explain? Kasi ikaw na to eh. Kanta ko to sayo eh hayop.

6. The song How To Save A Life. Pakinggan mo ng malaman mo kung bakit. Alam mo ba isang gabi, naghuhugas ako ng pinggan sa 502 kasi wala na ako magawa, tapos naka loop lang yung kanta tapos humahagulgol ako kasi nagrereflect ako sa life ko. Tapos pag nag chorus na sobrang lakas ng iyak ko kasi naaalala ko ang lahat. Ganon ako kasaklap…in a very fashionable way. Tangina. Buti na lang, nagsawa na ako di na ako gaanong naiiyak, thanks God.

7. Pasinaya. Putang ina. Joke hahaha. I hate Pasinaya 2014. Joke. Na hindi. Hehe. :|

8. Tang Orange Juice. Kasi ipinagtimpla ako nito noon ng kapatid mo. And after that, pag may nagtitimpla ng Tang, naaalala ko yung room ninyo. (pati na rin yung room ng parents mo, hihihi)

9. Si Eg del Rosario. Kasi kaapelyido mo siya. Yun lang wala nang iba.

10. Notifications. Kasi recently pag may notification sa twitter, ikaw naaalala ko kasi baka ikaw yun. OK BYE. HAHA…

Actually pinaabot ko lang talagang 10 reasons para creative. Para Top 10. Pero yung iba jan pilit. HEHE. Eh pilit na rin naman lahat eh edi ganun na haha joke.

Pero di nga. BAKET GANTO MGA POST KO. mga patweetums. this is suicide. cause alam ko namang I'm living in my own fantasy world. ugh.

O yan makakatulog na ako. Nakacreate na naman ako ng babasahin mo bago matulog bwahaha. ok na ako. hahahaha. #GoodnightWorld.

Of all the people, I don't know why it is you...

Today, I made very important realizations…if it even makes sense. I realised that I can love you from afar. I realised that I can be happy for you from afar. But most important of all, I realised that I want you more than I will ever need you.

I can survive without you. But it will never change how I wanted, or how I will ever want you. You make me struggle just to be with you. Or just to have the thought of being with you.

I never felt happier than today. I don't know exactly why. Pero masyado na ata akong nag-iisip ng mga bagay na ito for the past year. And maybe because I am too tired to think about it the only next thing that could happen is to just be happy. Let it flow. Let it roll right off my shoulders (lyrics!?).

Again, my feelings are all just the same. Kayang kaya kitang mahalin from afar. But this time, I still believe. I know what I want, and I know that it is you and with you. Still.

Nandito lang ako po. :) Take it or leave it. HEHE.

DAMI KO ALAM PLEASE. PWEDE WAG PA HIGH SCHOOL UNG MGA BINABLOG KO!? :))

Fools

Dahil ilang araw ko na siyang pinapatugtog nang paulit-ulit!!! <3 Tumutugtog sila sa Under The Stars (na di ko pinuntahan, 'cause why would I!?) And narinig ko lang na pinatugtog ng roommate ko... and I instantly loved it! :)

https://soundcloud.com/theransomcollective/foolssingle

Para sayo yan.

Recent On Loops :))
1. Fools - The Ransom Collective
2. The Way It Used To Be - Mike Posner
3. G.U.Y. - Lady Gaga
4. Raging Fire - Phillip Phillips

Random musings for the day:

-Didn't attend the Baccalaureate, unang una sa lahat dahil wala pa parents ko, so wala ako kasama. And I really didn't plan on going. Mag-isa na naman ako sa dorm :)) Excited for later, kumpleto na naman kaming buong pamilya! :D
-Nagbago na interface ng FB ko. Parang mobile na siya :)) Which I like.
-So parang pang high school blog post ang peg ng post na to :))
-OK bye.

Putangnamopolis

Ok so im deliberately writing this post because i cannot contain myself. Whyyy. Why now. Why do i feel this way. Sobrang labo lang. You know and i know i dont care for quite a long time. But why do i feel this way now. Sobrang wtf lang. This space i have, this 303am, is my safe haven. So i really think this is the only way i can send the message to you. I know, you know, we both know that you read this.

I miss you badly. And i hate that i may be receiving wrong signals...

How are you? How is your life?

Whats with the recent thought you are sharing???

I get confuse because i smile when i read them.

Answer me or at least tell a story.

Putangnamoka!

A strong expression that can be positive or negative.

Pero positive eh. Putangnamoka, you make me check your account.

Putangnamoka, you let me think about you at times. Recently, at least.

Putangnamoka, why you do this.

Putangnamoka, :).

You better figure out yourself, or else, this blog might just vanish.

Ps. Once again, i get jealous for no apparent reason... Ugh.

Fragment 2

Based on the last movie I watched in the theater, we reunite with people we loved so much from the past for particular reasons. And for this particular movie, the protagonists reunited for the long waited closure the two deserve. Luckily, for me, that moment has not arrived yet. I cannot see any closure im the near future as well. It feels like there should not be. For almost three months now, I have been quiet. I talk to close friends, to roommates, to wise friends, just to check that I am on the right track, to check if I am sane enough to move on...or something like that. But of course, it is very hard. Always, there is this cringing feeling of hope, of many what-ifs. And I sometimes think, maybe I could make these what-ifs, when.

"'Yang hope na yan, nakakalason. Parang drugs, nakakaadik."

-That friend of the protagonist from the movie

Sucks that everytime I try to be in good terms with moving on, there is always a thought popping in my mind...that in some ways, the world is trying to do something for me to not move on and hope again. That this person will come back. I always hope for the best. And at the end of this daydreaming, I realize again that I should move on. Stupid cycle.

"Kung masaya ka, okey na ako."

I tweeted.

That is the best I can give. If you are happy, then I am for you. There is nothing I can do more to make you happier if you already are.

But sometimes, I would really like to ask you, "are you?" It is a long shot. But what if? :( What if you are not really happy and I might just give you that. Bahala na.

FRAGMENT 2:

It was the day I learned that you slept with him last night. It was literally painful, but who am I to be mad, to need an explanation. I am no one between you. And I have no right to say anything against you. And so I decided to clear things. We met at the field. Talked a lot. Talked about saying goodbye. Cried. We cried both. Cleared things and decided to be just friends. Those hugs of yours, I would really never forget. Did you know you are the first person who hugs me like that? Practically you are the first. But I was never yours. And you were never mine. It is the sad part. We were but we were not even. You made me feel a lot of beautiful things...who am I to tell the world about it? It was a mistake. A mistake I fully regretted, but the feeling made me not.