Update #1

So finally that my internet is back, and now that I can endlessly surf and do stuff (many productive stuffs), I would like to share to you know what I've been up to... in productions, in theater, etc...

JULY PRODUCTION
Last month, we started rehearsing for our next production in July. Last night, we resumed for rehearsals since we had a one week break. This will be continuous up until the end of June, then shows will start on July. This is gonna be my most challenging role yet. Even though I'm part of a one-act play only, it's really heavy because I kind of have the main role (though, it's an ensemble actually, but just imagine the play is titled based on your role) and it's really an energy play where everything is comedy and energetic and all.

JANUARY PRODUCTION
Also, yesterday we had our firs artistic meeting for our January 2013 production! So early! And yes, we are all excited since this will be the biggest production of the company in history--it's our closing production for our 30th year. It's gonna be BIG. Based on one of the oldest epic of Southern Philippines, this musical/dance epic will be a first!

Yes, children, it will be an exciting year! Please wait for I will post promotional pictures soon! :)

in the brink of false rebellion

that is what i so feel right now. everything i do for the past year has been kind of rebellious. at times, i don't care what i do. It feels like I was doing things just to feel different, to not conform on certain things. I've been lying, I've been disobeying and I have been very irresponsible especially for the last two months.

I'm on my last year in college but it seems that I haven't right amount of passion yet. I do not know what to do exactly one year later. I do not have any idea what how to use my knowledge that I gained in college. I feel restless. Also, because of unclear priorities, I managed to gain 3 failed subjects for the past year and I'm not so sure if I would graduate on time. There is a part of me that says I can still manage to ease the remaining months, there's this another part of me that says, maybe I should tell my parents what I really want to the after school--I need theater, no matter what.

The past 2 years had changed me dramatically... My priorities in life shifted and now, I am trapped into this situation where everything I do feels like useless anymore, because I do not have passion for it. Do I finish this? Or do I step out of this? Or do I just wait, and then do something else afterwards? Clearly, there is something wrong... And that is I've found what I love to do too late. But is it too late to do something about it? The heck, no, I think. I'm just 20 years old and maybe I have 30 or more years to do what I want to do.

God help me.

Anyway, next week, we are about to start our 5th and last year and college. I kind of feel excited, and yes, I am excited to study well, improve my grades because that's the way it is. But at the end of the day, does every thing you do make you fulfilled? That's the question I have yet to answer.

Good luck to me.

PS: Feels good to be back writing down my thoughts! woohoo!